Three Sentence Stories #29

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Hardly breathing, for fear that the sound might give away her location, Amanda hides as still as a stone behind a long-hanging shirt deep inside her bedroom closet, desperately hoping to remain unnoticed when her pursuer inevitably pulls open the door. After a few long moments, he finally does, and her heart races as his eyes rove over the small space, finally coming to rest while facing her direction.

“I found you!” shouts the boy in triumph, before he explains to his sister that he noticed the toe of her shoe sticking out from beneath the shirt.

9 thoughts on “Three Sentence Stories #29

    1. Yeah! Being a dad, and kind of a stoic person, I am sometimes surprised by the rawness of a small kid’s emotions – even over silly things. Tag, or hide and seek, or not getting candy after dinner, etc., can conjure up a dramatic emotional response that adults don’t have outside of a *serious* situation.

      I kind of wanted to play with those feelings in writing even though this format is not really the best for me in doing that. I think it’s good to remind myself – or other adults – that kids exist in a developmentally different place than we do.

      1. That is definitely a good reminder and yes it’s interesting how kids are excited or emotional about everything even the small things. I also like how they express their feelings unapologetically. I wish us adults could do that too, lol.

      2. Yeah. Kids just feel everything so intensely. I think that’s why kids are so often included in suspense/horror stories. If adults are increasingly apathetic or nihilistic or drugged, we have to go to children to be the standard-bearers for feelings. Telling stories about highly emotional adults might feel inauthentic.

      3. That’s a very good point. Very emotional adults seem unrealistic or as though they are hysterical whereas emotions in children are very normal or realistic.

    2. Yeah. If very emotional adults are unrealistic (and they probably are unless the story is about social media), children are easier to write. That said, adults do feel things. It’s just more subtle (unless the subject matter is over-the-top.)

      Maybe the truth is just that writing is hard. Lol.

      1. I think adults just become used to expressing their feelings in a socially acceptable way whereas kids don’t feel the pressure to behave in a certain way.

      2. I guess then that means that writing about socially acceptable expression, in an interesting way, is either more difficult or less interesting or both.