Smallville (Season 1, Ep 7): Craving

Welcome to Smallville. I am doing an episode-by-episode watch, recap, and reaction and blogging about it here. There will be no spoilers for the series beyond the current episode. You can find my prior recaps HERE.

For those of you that don’t want to read the long plot recap, I provide a quick episode summary here at the top. You can read that and just scroll down to the “REACTION” heading below.

THE QUICK AND CLEAN SUMMARY:

Clark’s classmate Jodi (Amy Adams) is convinced that she needs to lose weight. In order to do this, she drinks vegetable smoothies grown in a meteor rock infused greenhouse. The diet works too well. In addition to losing weight, she cannot feed her faster metabolism enough calories to keep up with its needs. This leads to her literally sucking the fat from a road kill deer and eventually a school bully – putting him into a coma.

Clark and Chloe realize what has happened to Jodi in time to save Jodi’s date to Lana’s birthday party, Pete, from being her next potential meal. As a result of saving Pete, and helpin gJodi by sending her to the hospital, Clark misses Lana’s birthday party. He makes it up to her by taking her to a drive-in movie on the side of his barn.

THE EXTRA DUSTY RECAP:

The show opens with an overweight high school aged girl (guest star Amy Adams) working in a greenhouse. She is using meteor rocks in the soil. A man who appears to be her father enters and tells her that she can eat the spaghetti he made. She tells him that she is trying to look good for Lana’s birthday party. Her dad tells her that he thinks she might be focusing too much on this one party but she replies that nobody likes her because of how she looks. She tells her dad that she is a cow. She tells her dad that she has a new plan which is to only eat the food she grows out here. As she goes with what she has put into a grocery bag, her dad notices the meteor rocks in the soil. He does not comment on them.

Later at school, the dieting girl, Jodi, is cutting the heads off of supermodel pictures and pasting pictures of her head on their bodies. Chloe sees her doing this and asks if cutting the heads off of supermodels is not a bit redundant. Jodi replies that she is just trying to decide on an outfit for Lana’s party. Pete walks up to the two of them before he and Chloe ask Jodi for algebra help. She tells them that she was under the impression that Clark usually helps them. Pete explains that Clark is a little too busy helping the birthday girl. They offer to get Jodi’s lunch in exchange for her help.

At lunch, we see Jodi pouring green vegetable sludge into a cup. Jodi tells them, when they stare, that losing weight is never pretty. Just then a male classmate walks up holding a basketball.

Classmate: You want in or do you want to keep whale watching?
Pete: Dustin, back off.
Dustin: Chill out, cool guy. I didn’t know you were a chubby chaser.

[I am furious that this fictional character has dishonored the noble society of Dustys with this vileness. I hope that the writers teach him the error of his ways in due course!]

Dustin then bounces the ball into Jodi, causing her green sludge to cover her shirt and face. As she walks off in embarrassment, Dustin comments that you might think someone that big would have thicker skin. Pete then takes the basketball and roughly bounces it off Dustin’s face.

Chloe: You’d think someone that stupid would have a thicker head.

Back at Jodi’s house, she is blending more food and her dad is telling her that starving herself is not the way. She complains that she is tired of keeping a diary of what she is supposed to be eating, weighing herself, being patient, and seeing no results. Her dad tells her that he understands all of that already but he points out that starving herself is not healthy. He also tells her that she is beautiful already.

Dad: Just like your mother.
Jodi: No Dad, I’m not. Mom wasn’t fat.

Jodi goes into her bathroom to weigh herself. She feels her stomach growling loudly. She lifts up her shirt and sees the skin around her stomach moving. A moment later she sees herself in the mirror and notices that her face is now thinner. When she looks back down at the scale she has lost thirty pounds in an instant.

♫Somebody saaaaaaavvee meeeee♫

At the Luthor Mansion, Lex is running at a rapid pace on a treadmill and being monitored by another man. the other man tells him that his heart seems as though it can go on like this forever. Lex says that is good and he hopes then that he will not have to go through this physical nonsense for five years. The man says that they should hope not. He then tells Lex that there is something else he wants to discuss with him. Lex’s bloodwork has been analyzed and he has an unusually elevated white cell count.

Lex: What, like leukemia? Not likely, I don’t get sick.

The man asks Lex if he is on any medication and Lex tells him no. He asks Lex about allergies and Lex says no. When Lex is asked about childhood illnesses, Lex says that he had asthma but that it stopped on the same day he lost his hair. The man tells Lex that if these results were anywhere else, he would order a battery of tests. He says though that he does see a lot of this in Smallville. Lex asks why Smallville should be any different and he hesitantly replies that some say the Luthor Corp. plant in Smallville has contaminated the environment. Lex expresses doubt about that and then tells the doctor to order the tests.

Clark is helping Lana with her math homework at her aunt’s house. Her aunt is busy planning Lana’s birthday party around them. Lana tells Clark that the birthday extravaganza has been pretty distracting but Clark tells her that having a party at Lex’s mansion seems pretty cool to him. Lana then informs Clark that it stopped being her party a long time ago.

Lana: If it was up to me, it’d be pizza and loud music with my friends.

Clark asks Lana if she told Nell that and Lana replies that she and Nell have been through a lot lately and that she feels as though she should give Nell this one. Outside of Lana’s house, Whitney pulls up in his truck.

Whitney: Hey Lana, guess what?
Lana: The scout called!
Whitney: I just heard I got the trout with Kansas State!

[DustyReviews Note: As a college football recruiting nerd who hails from the central United States, I’m just about to throw remote at the television.]

When Clark congratulates Whitney, the quarterback then tells Lana that he has not said yes, yet, to his “tryout.” Whitney tells Lana that Kansas State wants him on campus on Saturday. He has not committed to attending yet, though, because he does not want to miss Lana’s party. Lana assures him that the party is Nell’s big night, not her own. Lana tells Whitney that she wants him to go. They kiss.

Later Clark tells Pete about what happened. Pete tells Clark that this is good news for him.

Clark: Kansas State gives Whitney a full scholarship and Lana gives Whitney a tongue bath. How is that good news?
Chloe: Even I’m having a hard time following this skewed Pete Ross logic.
Pete: Lana is going to be dateless to her own party.

The three of them walk and talk past Jodi who then calls out to Pete. He turns around and is stunned. Jodi tells him the word he is looking for, to describe her, is thinner. Clark asks if she is okay and she tells him that she has never been better and that her diet is just starting to pay off. Pete tells her that she looks great. Jodi tells Pete thank you for stickign up for her the day before.

Jodi: Most people wouldn’t have done that.
Pete: Most people can’t stand Dustin.

Jodi then asks Pete if he has a date for Lana’s party. Pete is smiling but in a stunned silence so Clark tells her that Pete is still free. Jodi asks Pete if he wants to go with her. Pete is still smiling and not answering so Clark tells her that he’d love to. She says she’ll see him then and then leaves.

Chloe: I don’t get it.
Pete: Women dig me. Get used to it.

Chloe tells Pete that she is referring to the amount of weight that Jodi lost overnight. Clark tells Chloe that if she can do that, half of the school will be after that secret.

Lana visits the Kent house. Martha greets her and Jonathan asks if he can interest her in a latte. She tells him that she will pass due to bad waitressing flashbacks. She explains that she brought over the produce order for the party. When Martha tells her that she could have called it in, Lana says she did not want to miss the chance to get out of the house. She tells Martha that Nell is planning the party like it’s a royal wedding. Martha looks at produce list and says that she can tell.

Clark arrives, backing inside through the door holding giant boxes. Clark – not realizing Lana is inside – tells his dad that he got the post put in place in the west field. He says that he hit some granite but then jammed it through. Then he sees Lana. She tells him that’s very impressive. Clark tries to cover by saying that he had a sledge hammer. Jonathan breaks an uncomfortable silence by saying someone has to work around here. He leaves. Clark nods at Lana to follow him to the side room. Martha overhears him telling her that he thought she’d be posing for ice sculptures by now.

Lana tells Clark that she is considering stowing away in the back of Whitney’s truck on Saturday. Clark replies that being a no-show at her own party would have the town talking. Lana admits that she would not actually do that to Nell but she says all of the attention is unnerving. Clark offers to be her escort on Saturday. The camera cuts back to Martha’s expression as she is clearly eavesdropping on the two of them. Her expression indicates that she is not sure that was a good thing to say. Clark senses that he overstepped and explains that he can fend off the throngs of adoring fans. Lana says that she would like that. Martha’s face indicates that Clark did only an okay job saving that situation. Lana tells Clark that she better go because if she is gone for too long that Nell will send out a search party.

Before Lana actually leaves, she stops and asks Clark to promise that he will actually make it this time. Clark promises. Martha waits to comment until after Lana is gone.

Martha; An escort to fend off the adoring fans?
Clark: What’s wrong with that?
Martha: Nothing, Clark. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.

Clark assures his mom that he and Lana are just friends. She says okay and that she is officially butting out. She then asks Clark what he is getting Lana for her birthday. When Clark says that he does not know and asks for ideas, Martha tells Clark that his grandmother always said that the best gifts come from the heart.

At Jodi’s house, she is making more vegetable sludge. Her dad asks if she is feeling okay. SHe says that she is feeling great and she adds that she even got a date for Lana’s party. He tells her that this is great news but asks her to eat something other than the shake things that she is making. She agrees and says that she is done counting calories. She finishes her shake and goes to weigh herself. We see that she has now lost an additional twenty pounds. When her stomach growls loudly, she goes to the fridge and begins eating voraciously. As the scene progresses, her hunger shifts from cute to menacing. She is shaving as much food into her body as she can as if her life depends on it. When the episode finally subsides, and she is sitting on the floor surrounded by packaging and food scraps, she looks up at her shake machien in horror and throws it against the wall.

Later, it is a rainy night, and we see that Jodi is driving. She has purchased a large amount of food from drive-thru sources. What remains of it sits in her front passenger seat. Suddenly a deer crosses the road in front of her and she crashes into it. She parks her car on the side of the road and walks over to check on the animal. When she gets close to it, a look of wild hunger suddenly comes over her face. Her jaw unhinges widely and she begins to eat the deer.

The following day, Clark spies on Lana and Whitney as they sit together on her front porch. He is using the telescope in his barn’s loft. Abruptly Chloe asks if he is getting his morning Lana fix. Clark is startled and asks if she ever knocks. She reminds him that they are in a barn. Clark asks Chloe if she is there for a reason or just to bust his chops. She tells him that it’s a little of both. She then explains that at deer was found dead on the side of the road. Clark tells her that’s not exactly wall of weird material. She adds that the deer’s cause of death was listed as unknown. She asks Clark if his family knowns anyone at animal control. She wants to pay that person a visit before school. Clark tells her that one of the perks of growing up on a farm is knowing people at animal control. Clark tells her that he is busy and that he still has not figured out what he will give Lana for her birthday. Chloe offers to help Clark pick out a present in exchange for his help with this so Clark agrees.

A short time later, Clark and Chloe are creeping through animal control. Clark’s family connections were only good enough to get him permission to go inside to use the bathroom. They eventually find the room with the deer carcass. Clark surreptitiously uses his super strength to break the door handle door lock and then let himself and Chloe inside. When the find the deer, Clark tells Chloe that it looks like jerky. Chloe picks up the lab report sitting next to the table and reads that the deer lost approximately eighty percent of its body fat.

Chloe: It’s like it’s been lipo-suctioned to death.

Clark asks her if she thinks the town has a fat-sucking vampire and she immediately reminds him that they live in Smallville. She calls their town the land of the weird and the home of the strange.

At Luthor Corp Mansion, we see Lex reading the online version of Chloe’s high school newspaper. He focuses on an article that refers to Smallville as “0America’s Strangest Town.”

At Jodi’s house, her father informs her through a closed door that he will need to be out of town until Sunday for work. He apologizes about missing her big date. He also suggests that he thinks they need to see a psychiatrist. Jodi tells her dad that she does not need to see a shrink and he replies that he wants her to look into a mirror and be happy. She tells him that she is. He does not go through her closed door efore leaving. We see that as the camera pans back, if he had gone inside, he would have found her surrounded by food packaging all over the floor.

Clark arrives at the school and finds Lex inside. He tells Lex that most of his friends are trying to get out of high school. Lex tells Clark that he was just meeting with Clark’s principal. Lex explains that Smallville High School is apparently in dire need of a new computer lab.

Lex: I figured I could help.
Clark: They might even name a lunch special after you.

Clark asks Lex how he ended up in this particular room. Lex explains to Clark that his plant manager, Gabe, is always going on about his daughter the reporter and The Torch. Lex says he thought he would stop by and say hello. Lex tells Clark that he was struck by the wall of news clippings. Clark tells Lex that the wall is Chloe’s hobby. He shares that Chloe thinks she can trace all of the freak things that happen in their town to the meteor shower. Lex says it’s an interesting theory and asks Clark where he was when the meteors fell. Clark tells Lex that his parents had not adopted him yet.

Lex surprises Clark by telling him that he was in Smallville on the day it happened. Lex’s mother had wanted him to spend some quality time with his father so Lionel brought Lex with him to Smallville to finalize a business deal. He tells Clark that it’s funny how one day can change your entire life.

Lex: I was out in a cornfield when the first meteor hit. It was like a tidal wave coming at me. Then everything went black. Next thing I remember I was waking up in Metropolis General completely bald.
Clark: Lex, I didn’t know.
Lex: Not many people do, Clark.

He tells Clark that he should have died that day but instead he walked away bald. He goes on saying that when he was younger he thought the lack of hair was a curse because kids either thought he was a freak or on chemo. He explains though that he eventually began to see it as a gift because it defines him and gives him strength. Clark asks if he ever wonders what he would be like if he had not come to Smallville that day but Lex answers by saying it does not matter because it happened either way. He adds that he thinks his future will be brighter than the future of the spoiled brat who walked into the cornfield.

Just then, Chloe enters and greets Lex as “Mr. Luthor” but he tells her to call him Lex. He then tells her that Clark was just explaining her meteor theory. He tells her that he likes the meteor theory.

Chloe: Thanks.
Lex: Especially because most people think my company is secretly behind everything that goes wrong in Smallville.

Lex asks Chloe if she is the only one who blames the meteors instead of him. She tells him that she is except for Mr. Hamilton. Clark adds that most people do not have too high a regard for a guy who sells plastic meteor chips to tourists. On his way out, Lex tells Chloe to call him when she is looking for a summer job because he has friends at The Inquisitor. He then tells Clark that he will see him tomorrow.

Lex: I hear you’re escorting the birthday girl. Nice work.
Clark: [awkwardly] We’re just going as friends.
Lex: Sure you are. I hope you got her a nice gift.

In the hallway, Pete stops Jodi and asks if she is okay, pointing out that she missed their class earlier. Jodi tells him that her stomach is bothering her and that she cannot keep anything down. Pete suggests that she should see the nurse. She tells him she will be fine. Pete lets her know that if she does not feel well enough to attend the birthday party that he will understand. She tells him in turn that she would not miss the party for the world.

After Jodi walks away from Pete, she runs into Dustin. He tells her that working out was a good idea. She suddenly feels stabbing hunger pains and he asks if she is alright. She says that she is. He tells her that he likes what he sees. She comes closer to him and suggests that he would not mind seeing a little bit more. He grins in agreement before she tells him to follow her.

Clark finds Lana alone reading “Confederacy of Dunces.” She tells him that it is a first edition. Clark asks if it is an early birthday gift and Lana tells him that it is and from Whitney.

Lana: That’s the thing with Whitney. Sometimes I think that he’s a million miles away and then he surprises me with something like this.

Clark asks Lana how the birthday planning is going. She says that she surrendered and told Nell to do all of the remaining planning without her. Clark smiles and tells her that he cannot believe how anti-birthday she is. Clark asks if she ever had a happy birthday and Lana tells him that she did once when she went to a drive-in. He comments that this does not sound like Nell’s style and Lana replies that it was with her parents. She shares that her dad parked on the front row so that the screen filled up the entire windshield. She says she felt grown up because she was allowed to sit in the front seat with them. When Clark tells her it sounds nice, Lana tells him she fell asleep before the movie even started. As they sit and talk on the bleachers, Jodi leads Dustin past them and toward the locker rooms.

Dustin disrobes Jodi and tells her that no one will see them. As he does, he apologizes for his comments to her before. The mood changes.

Jodi: You thought that it was funny calling me names, making me cry, making me wish that I were dead rather than fat.
Dustin: Well, what can I say?
Jodie: You can say you’re sorry.

Then.. her jaw unhinges. Dustin gasps in horror as she bites his neck. Clark hears something and aims his X-Ray vision toward the boiler room. He sees a struggle inside and kicks the door in. Someone turns a wheel which shoots steam at Clark’s head. Clark simply bends the metal pipe away form his head as he looks around. Just then an emaciated Dustin grabs Clark and pleads for help.

Lex drops in on Dr. Hamilton’s barn / laboratory. Dr. Hamilton advises Lex not to touch anythin gbefore he asks Lex if he has a website or something. When Lex is confused, Hamilton tells him that those websites are usually the ones who track him down. Lex tells him that he is just a fan and then gives Hamilton his own name. Hamilton tells Lex, without shaking his hand, that mineralogists do not have fans. Lex replies that most mineralogists did not handle the first Apollo moon rocks. Hamilton replies that was a lifetime ago when he was a respected scientist. Lex tells Hamilton that the two of them might have a few things in common and adds that he knows they were both kicked out of Metropolis University.

Lex cuts to the chase and tells Hamilton that he has become very interested in his work since finding out about a medical condition that he has. Hamilton asks Lex if he thinks the condition has something to do with the meteors. Lex points out that the theory regarding the meteors – and their ability to alter cellular make-up – is his own. Lex suggests that the research sounds like something worth funding. Hamilton seems to consider it before laughing and saying that his funding is private as are his results. Lex tells him that his funding comes from tourists. Hamilton tells Lex that if he is so interested in meteors, he can have one. Lex in turn tells Hamilton that when he changes his mind, he can find him.

At the school, Chloe is informing Clark that she has learned Dustin is in a coma. She learned that his body went into a coma due to the loss of fat. Clark suggests that it’s time to revisit the fat-sucking vampire theory. Chloe tells him that if he had not been there, Dustin probably would have died. The two of them join Jodi at a cafeteria table. She is eating a large amount of food. Clark asks if she is feeling well and tells her that Pete told him that she was feeling sick yesterday. She tells them both that she is fully recovered. Chloe comments that it’s safe to say the diet is over. Jodi replies that she is starving and that she has not eaten anything all day. When they watch her awkwardly as she eats, she finally becomes aware of it, and she tells them that she is just a little nervous about the party tonight. They continue to watch her awkardly so she tells them that she will see them tonight. After she goes, Chloe asks Clark what that was all about. He tells her he does not know but that he also has to go. He suggests that they talk about it later and Chloe agrees. She asks where he is going and he tells her that he is going to work on Lana’s birthday present. Chloe asks for hints and he tells her that it’s not a gift certificate.

At Lex’s mansion, he spies Lana on a balcony watching the decorations go up. He asks her what she thinks but before she can answer he posits that it’s not her at all. She just smiles. Lex telsl her that he heard Whitney could not make it and says that’s too bad. Lana replies sarcastically that she is sure that Lex is devastated. She tells Lex that Whitney is trying out for a football scholarship at Kansas State. She explains that at first he did not make the cut, but then someone fell out, and a spot opened up for him. He tells her that he knows. She looks at him as if expecting to find out that Lex orchestrated all of this But then he tells her that Nell already told him. Lex then tells her that he likes her new escort better. He looks at he as though he is an amused older brother than then tells her to have fun tonight.

At the Kent house, Martha is ironing a shirt for Clark. She asks Clark if he picked out a gift for Lana and Clark tells her yes and that Lex helped him out. He then tells his mom that he thought she was butting out of this. She hands him his shirt and sarcastically tells him that in that case he better learn to iron. Just as Clark is buttoning his shirt, Chloe barges in with something for Clark to see. She shows Clark paperwork which says that Jodi’s car is the one that hit the deer. Clark quickly catches up with Chloe’s new theory. After Chloe points out that Jodi lives right next to one of the big meteor hits, Clark says that she is drinking juice grown from meteor rich soils. Chloe says that it did something to her metabolism and that her body cannot keep up anymore with regular food.

Clark says that they need to find Jodi. Chloe points out that Jodi will be at the party. Clark then remembers that Pete is her date.

We see a thin Jodi looking at herself in the mirror while wearing form fitting red dress. As she assesses herself as looking perfect, Pete rings her doorbell while carrying flowers. They greet each other and walk out to the car. Jodi’s stomach growls loudly. Pete looks at her, concerned, and asks if something is wrong. She says she is fine and that she just needs to eat. Pete tells her that it doesn’t sound right and suggests that they go to the hospital. She jerks away and tells Pete that he has always been good to her. She then runs back to her house and warns him to go away.

Pete goes inside trying to find her. She whimpers a plea for him to go away and eventually tells him that she does not want to hurt him. Pete starts to say that she could not hurt a fly but stops halfway through when he finds her on the floor. Jodi stands and she is now angry. She again directs him to please leave but the words have a threat behind them. She knocks Pete down, and unconscious. We see the silhouette of her jaw unhinging as she is about to bite Pete when Clark enters her house. She stops herself and runs out the back door and into her greenhouse. Clark follows.

Inside the greenhouse, Clark is immediately weakened by the meteor rocks inside. Jodi attacks him with a shovel and overpowers him. She throws him through the greenhouse wall and is about to stab at him with the shovel when she stops herself. She sees her own reflection in a broken piece of mirror and stops, calling herself a freak. She tells Clark that she knows how to stop all of this for good. She then hits a gas pipeline with her shovel causing an explosion. Clark manages to speed her away before she is hurt.

Pete finds them outside and is surprised to see Clark. He asks if Jodi is going to be okay. Clark says that he thinks so but adds that they need to get her to a hospital.

At Lana’s party, Lex finds her alone on an outdoor balcony. He asks if this is not her party and she tells him that it says so on all of the invitations. He then says she is not hiding, she is getting some air. When she seems unnerved that he is reading her mind, he tells her that he spent eighteen years at Luthor Christmas parties hiding in the coat room. Lana smiles at this and tells Lex that she is still waiting for her reinforcements. Lex tells her that he knows Clark and that he’ll be there if he can. She tells Lex that it’s just a birthday. Lex leaves her alone with her thoughts.

Clark gets home and updates his parents. They tell him that they heard from the police. He lets them know that Pete is fine other than a migraine and that Jodi is on her way to Metropolis General. Martha tells him that she is sorry about the party and Clark expresses extreme disappointment about letting Lana down again. Jonathan tells him that he does the things that he does, and that sometimes he has to make sacrifices. Clark asks if sacrifices include Lana and Martha tells him maybe but she reminds him that he made his choice. Abruptly Clark stands up and tells his parents that he does not have to sacrifice everything.

Lex receives a letter from his doctor. He wads it up in his fist.

Dr. Hamilton is in his lab. Lex visits him again. Hamilton asks if he is back for some more rocks. Lex tells Hamilton that he got a clean bill of health. Hamilton congratulates him. Lex continues on and tells him that he could not figure out why he was so resistant to Lex’s offer. He shares that he learned that Hamilton was not kicked out of Metropolis University for his meteor theories but rather it was teacher student relations. Lex wonders aloud if Smallville Police made him register when he moved into the town. Hamilton tells him to get out. Lex gives him a check for $100,000 and tells him that he likes to let people reinvent themselves. Hamilton tells Lex that what he is looking for will take years. Lex replies that he is a patient man.

Hamilton: Tell me, why does a billionaire’s son care so much about a bunch of rocks that fell out of the sky twelve years ago.
Lex: I save that story for the people that I trust.

Clark goes to Lana’s house and tosses something against her upstairs bedroom window to get her attention. She opens the window and tells him that he kind of missed cocktail hour. Clark apologizes. Lana says that she stopped believing n happy birthdays a long time ago. Clark tells her that he knows he blew it tonight bt he tells her that he really wants to at least give her her present. She asks “when” and he says “now.”

We see Clark and Lana watching a drink-in style movie on the side of Clark’s barn. He even includes popcorn. Lana is gleefully happy. The camrea pans away from the Kent’s pickup as we hear “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias.

REACTION:

I will forever think it’s funny that future A-Lister Amy Adams played a fat-sucking “meteor freak” vampire on Smallville. This was not her first role but it was one of her first roles with a lot of camera time. Obviously things got better for her after this aired. But just to provide a sense of perspective, as to how early this was for her, it was another four years from this episode’s air date until she was guest-starring as Jim’s girlfriend on The Office.

I legitimately feel for anyone with an eating disorder who watches this episode. I think the writers were trying to be sensitive to the topic early in the episode – as sensitive as you can be with a young Amy Adams in a fat suit. Then you know, she got out her car after hitting a deer, and turned that almost-road kill into venison jerky. As you do. Her jaw even unhinged like a CGI human snake. Things escalated when she decided to turn Smallville High School’s resident 80s villain, Dustin, into Dustin jerky, too. Fortunately, Clark saved a good but troubled Jodi from becoming a murderer. Unless you count the deer.

I was somewhat happy that after almost killing Pete, Jodi restrained herself from further attacking Clark when she saw her own reflection. The meteor monster within did not completely defeat her. Perhaps we can imagine that she gets the help she needs at Metropolis General and returns to normal… but with some horrifying memories. It seems safe to say though that she can’t ever return to Smallville High. You don’t want to be known at school as the “fat-sucking vampire” girl. I’m trying to imagine what the call to her dad sounded like when they let him know about all of this.

The sub plots in this episode did not really do a lot to elevate the main plot. Whitney’s “tryouts” at Kansas State irritated me immensely. Is there nobody who writes for this show who can adjust the dialogue to make sense? “Whitney got invited to attend a recruiting weekend” or “Whitney got invited to participate at a camp” instead of “Whitney is trying out for the team.” Football isn’t theater. Scholarship worthy players at good FBS programs get scouted at games, in camps, on the basis of game film. I think it was in the pilot episode that it was suggested a High School aged Jonathan Kent once “tried out” for the Metropolis Sharks – a professional football team. That’s not how football works. Is Bo Duke not a college football fan? Tom Welling? Surely someone on set could have fixed this dialogue. Either way, there is ZERO chance Whitney Fordham is playing football at early 2000s Kansas State. Someone needs to put some respect on Ell Roberson’s name. He had no chance at landing a spot on that team other than as a walk-on. KSU was legitimately elite back then. You know though.. maybe Whitney could actually “try out” to be a walk-on. But of course the show said he was offered a full scholarship. Anyway…

Lex developing an interest in the meteor rocks has a lot of future story potential. Introducing Dr. Hamilton is the same. Manipulating Dr. Hamilton into doing research was not exactly riveting, though. And then there is Princess Lana’s royal birthday. The entire town gathers at Luthor Mansion to celebrate… yawn. Clark wasn’t there for her… yawn. The best part of that sub plot was Lex pushing for Clark to Lana’s face. Rosenbaum has so much charisma. Realistically Lana would know why Clark didn’t make it to her party. The Jodi story would be gossiped about before the party even ended. The real intrigue for Lana should be why Clark is always saving people’s lives.

Clark setting up a drive-in movie for her is cute but it 100% is a “I wanna be your boyfriend” move. They both know it. I just couldn’t bring myself to care about the teen angsty-ness of it all… except that Enrique Iglesias song is so corny it made the scene work for me. We ended on a high note.

Speaking of the music, here is this episode’s 2001 Time Travel via Smallville Playlist:

Dido – Slide
Fuel – Innocent
Third Eye Blind – Invisible
Aeon Spoke – There Are No Answers
Elusive – I Would
Paul Trudeau – Will You Go Around With Me
Crown Jewels – He’s Got It
Call and Response – The Fool
Crown Jewels – He’s So Zen
Enrique Iglesias – Hero